Transformers Dark of the Moon

I probably would've enjoyed the film more if I hadn't seen it in 3D. I found myself wishing it would end with some 45 minutes left to go, when usually I have no problem sitting through longer films. Content wise Bay once again failed to put the emphasis on the 'bots themselves, instead choosing to spend time setting up bad jokes between the humans and keeping the camera on Megan Fox 2.0 for unnaturally long periods of time. Overall, pretty much in line with the rest of the Transformers films, gotta sit through the plotless chunks of poorly handled human drama to get to the freakin' sweet CGI fight scenes.

I know that the number one rule in the Transformer franchise is “don’t go expecting a good plot”. But there is just so much one can take, especially when they expect that you remain interested for almost 3 hours. And oh, how long they feel, between huge plot holes and retcons, the usual style of “comedy” that’s getting old and anything but funny, and a main character that is as charming as the tool that plays it.

And talking about characters, one has to wonder how large was the paycheck of some of these actors that they accepted to play roles with the same weight and quality as the Transformers that serve as background filler.

Which leads me to our transforming fellas. How I wish my electronics were as resilient as some of these guys, am I right? With the exception of 2 specific scenes and a bunch of presidents, this must be some of the most impressive CGI to date, the guys at ILM really outdone themselves this time. No blurry crap, but incredibly detailed renders of even the most insignificant Decepticons.

And let’s face it, for all the talent that Michael Bay lacks as a storyteller he absolutely compensates it with amazing action choreographies and fucking huge explosions involving the only interesting part of the film, the god damn robots beating the [crap] out of each other.

At the end of the day DOTM delivers what’s expected from a Transformers film, if only in an uneven and tiresomely long experience; a better product than ROTF, but then again that’s not hard to achieve.